Living with anxiety & depression .

Living with depressionfeels like you’re in a dark hole with nowhere to go.

Living with anxietymake you feel like you’re going “crazy.”

Depression takes away all of your motivation and drive to do anything, but anxiety makes you want to constantly do that activity. Depression tells you thoughts such as, “It’s not worth it to get out of bed today,” or, “You’re worthless, stupid and no one cares about you.” Even though it is all in your head, you somehow believe it.

Anxiety continually throws “what if” thoughts around your head.

That is the cruel reality of living with both depression and anxiety.

One makes you not want to do anything, but the other makes you terrified that if you miss something, you will be further behind than you already are.

Many people don’t understand why people who have depression and anxiety act the way they do. It is because they are constantly fighting with themselves. I live with depression and anxiety. It is scary to live with one, but to live with both is an absolute nightmare.

With my anxiety, I am constantly overthinking everything, no matter how big or small the activity is.

I’ve had a few episodes lately where anxiety comes into play as I go

To teach a yoga class , my stomach aches. I begin to get overwhelmed and my heart rate increases speed. I feel shaky and lightheaded, but I keep going because I know that after it ,it will help me in the long run and when I come out of that savasanna seeing everyone’s uplifted looks . Uplifts me .

I am always terrified I will mess up what I am saying or that I will trip or something small . having anxiety makes it a constant fear. My brain goes off on its own, not listening to me as I try to tell my body to calm down and that everything will be OK.

My mind is already making me feel nauseous the closer I get to arriving at a destination. Nights out with friends ? I say il go then il change my mind over and over again . My heart races when I do go and I have to try settle to the place .

I am nervous about telling anyone something I have felt.

Telling them if I have had a bad week is hard enough, but telling why when nothing is wrong feels absolutely terrible.

Why did I have such a rough time this last week? Why do I feel sad and angry when nothing is wrong in my life? Why do I constantly feel like a mistake and feel like I am never good enough for anyone, no matter how hard I try? Those thoughts flood my brain.

Your not alone if you have those thoughts.

Had enough with life ? Want to

Give up ? Suicide washes the brain ?

but why I feel the way I do is even more challenging .

Those are just the thoughts going around in my brain at this very moment.Your not alone . It’s not just you having these thoughts .

Waking up in the middle of the night . Nothing triggers it.

I sit there in my bed for hours just staring up at the ceiling because my anxiety is whirling thoughts through my head.

I wake most mornings and make sure I get up eat fruit journal go to the gym and keep a routine . But some mornings il wake eat journal and find it difficult to go to the gym because my mind try’s to play on me .

Funny thing is when I do motivate myself to go no one can see how much I am hurting or how tired I am. They only see me, the girl who seems like she doesn’t care. The girl who seems like she has her life put together because she laughs and smiles all the time.

I wish I could be both of those, but I am not. I put on a facade, not wanting anyone to ask questions because I don’t know what I would say.

Would I lie and say that I am OK or would I sit there, breakdown and tell them what I am thinking and how I really feel? This is just the sad reality of living with both depression and anxiety, the polar opposites.

I do sometimes break down and tell them how I feel but they don’t understand, or do they ?

It’s all about finding the right people to talk to . They might not have the answers but you’ll feel better with getting it out of your system or even just a hug.